The inner voice of doubt
When I finally got sober (a few moons ago) I became acutely aware of the noise in my head. Intrusive thoughts - mostly negative - would bombard me from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. And since developing CPS the noise returned in full force. Waves of negativity would wash over me as I struggled to adapt to chronic pain.
We all experience the inner voice of doubt to some extent. Thoughts delivered on drip feed that pull us away from the present moment into a fantasy land. And we believe these thoughts to be ours. So we listen and in turn - react. It is not a voice of reason but the voice of ego. The thing inside of us that feeds on resentment and judgement.
We try and overcome our own negativity with distractions and more thinking, positive affirmations to counteract the negative. It becomes a battle of wills against our own thinking. The more we struggle the more we get lost in the conflicts for our efforts. It’s a battle we can not win on our own.
The voice of ego thrives on doubt. You know, the voice that tells you you won’t get the job you want so why bother trying. Or the thoughts that something negative is going to ruin your good run of manageable pain. Always negative - the ego nourishes on resentment energy, fed through our thoughts and emotional responses. It’s a powerful thing. It's easy to see how people prone to overthinking can fall into depression and anxiety.
Image Credit: ©Kelsey Rein
Being over emotional is not a nice healthy trait. Leaving yourself wide open to be influenced by anything or anyone that causes something to rise in you and cause you to react with exitment or fear isn’t good. You’ve given up your natural ability to discern true from false in favour of thinking. Your being owned by the events and people around you and probably have no idea it’s happening. Ego feeds and you suffer. It’s a hard roundabout to be on.
The solution to overthinking and quietening the inner voice is to seperate from it. Observe them objectively from a place of stillness, without fear and without reaction. Simply become an observer of your own mind. A watcher rather than a thinker. In this conscious state of awareness we become unmoved by the negativity. It shrinks to right size and life changes drastically. We are no longer are ruled by emotions but guided by intuition.
This conscious state some call the 4th dimension of existence is simple to get to. It just takes a very simple and free meditation exercise. A non contemplative meditation that is unlike anything else out there.
If you are drained by your own mind and need to find a new way to exist. If you are tired of the inner voices of doubt try this exercise. Keep an open mind and have your own experience. See for yourself that ego is not your friend, shrink it in the light of consciousness and break free from the voice in your mind.
https://schwarzhoffmedia.com/non-contemplative-meditation/
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