Flare-up
Last week at work I had a bizzare episode. I got stabbing pains in my chest and left shoulder. The left side of my face went numb and felt as though it had dropped. I got pins and needles in my left hand and all-in-all felt pretty crappy. From work I was taken to accident and emergency where I was treated with a possible stroke.
They ran tests and decided to keep me in overnight with an MRI booked for the following day. That MRI came back as normal and they were happy it was not a stroke, so I was discharged with a referral to the pain clinic. The admission notes read ‘A flare up of central pain’.
We had had a busy and stressful time since returning back from holiday. It has been a non stop rollercoaster dealing with the triplets. Trying to keep them occupied has been incredibly stressful. They are at an age that they are demanding attention from the moment they wake up til bedtime. They are constantly arguing and whinging and it takes it’s toll. Four is a difficult age.
There have been night’s that I feel deflated and defeated. I feel impeding doom that when I wake up I will have to do it all over again, with added pain it's a real challenge. It is a relentless routine that has been grinding me down, Especially this last week. I rarely get headaches beyond the nerve pain but have been experiencing tension headaches every day. It has made meditation difficult which means i’m not dealing with stress consciously.
The doctors believe my episode was a culmination of stressful events that have finally caught up with me. My wife has also been overwhelmed with our situation for the first time since the triplets were born. It’s a reminder that even though I deal with stress and life well - i’m also only human.
I’m relieved that all my tests came back clear. As for home-life I need to stay on top of my meditation if I am to deal with the pressures I face. Life is full throttle at the moment and shows no signs of slowing down. At least in hospital I was awarded an opportunity to relax for a night and reassess my mental health.
Flare ups drag me down. I lose sight of what is worthwhile in life. I question if I am taking on too much and feel the cloak of deppresion decending. I need to take it easy. Take more time for self care. I know that in order to function I need to keep my stress levels to a minimum, otherwise I pay the price as I have done recently.