Merry Christmas - a time for forgiveness

My life has been a journey of letting go, especially as I get older. I was once fuelled by resentment caused by a dysfunctional childhood. I was a victim that was unwilling to let go of my justified anger. It was only when I got sober at thirty six that the importance of forgiveness was shown to me.

As a sufferer of CPS, the emotional rollercoaster that followed a diagnosis led me to become resentful at myself. Frustration took hold as I battled to accept a permanent pain condition. As a result my stress levels caused my pain to flare up. I was once again full anger, lost in thoughts and overwhelmed with negative emotions.

I had to overcome my new fears and resentment because it was dragging me down. I was swamped with self pity and it was affecting everyone in my life.

Thankfully I did find acceptance through meditation. It was a way to let go of the thought’s and emotions that were blocking me from the sunlight of the spirit. When I am conscious life is manageable - even with CPS. If I am dealing with the mental pressure it means lower pain day's.

Now Christmas is upon us and I am reminded again it is a season of forgiveness. Of kindness and love. I must make a conscious effort to live in a state of forgiveness. Free from anger and fear with faith and an altruistic attitude. There are people in my life who rely on my ability to deal with stress. I cannot let my family down.

Of course there will be flare ups. There will be times that I get overwhelmed with pain. But with each passing year I get better at dealing with the challenges of central pain syndrome, and also the challenges of life in general. It is my job to grow as a human being, as a father and a husband.

So I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a new-year that will bring acceptance and a sense of peace within the storm. You deserve to have a life beyond pain. And may that life be one of kindness, courage and love.